Weary of the battle

O Lord, the most high,
do not punish me in your anger
because my wickedness
is so great.
Take mercy on me, O God,
for I know that my actions deserve punishment.

O God, of mercy and compassion
I cannot stand to look at myself
any longer.
My sin is almost too much to bear.
I am ashamed of who I am.
How can it be so, that I
am even ashamed
of being ashamed?

Abba Father,
I cry out to you
in great distress.
I have no strength left of my own.
I cannot see past myself.
This burden is too great for me to bear,
but I know
it is not too great
for you.

Father of Heaven and earth,
I cry out to you.
I ask you to take hold
of your dying daughter.
My flesh is unworthy of your
greatness.
I do not deserve your pure
and blameless love.

Take mercy on me my Father.
You have said to me", Ask
and it will be given to you;
seek and you shall find;
knock and the door will be opened.
For everyone who asks receives;
he who seeks finds;
and to him who knocks,
the door will be opened."

I ask you to walk with me;
I seek refuge in the shelter
of your wings;
and I praise you
for opening your door to me.
I exalt thee, O Father in Heaven,
for you are mighty
and your kingdom great.

O my God, I am ashamed to say
I do not feel that I am enough.
But what are my feelings?
They, that come from in me,
are not even reliable.
They are not valid in my circumstances,
for I know that they are tainted
by my humanity,
and by my history.

My God, you have said,
"Who of you by worrying
can add a single hour
to his life?".
I know those words well.
In my heart those words
reign true,
but in my flesh
I am tortured by my
worries.

"Consider the lilies of the field",
those words were spoken
from your lips.
They bring me comfort and joy.
But everyday is the same battle,
and I am weary.
I know that I can trust in your
strength, O merciful One.
For I know that if not for
your strength, than
I am dead already.

Care for me, O Father in Heaven.
Care for your daughter,
whom you have created,
by your greatness
and for your pleasure.

You are all that I have...
And more, you are all that I need.

Praise be to the Father in Heaven.
Honor and Glory be to Him,
forever and ever.
Amen.