Numbness

Numbness is such a scary place.

You are robbed of your conscience;

you know no conviction.

See no evil, hear no evil.



It is the very place that leads you into a trap,

set forth by the Adversary.

The process starts by your conviction;

the very blood that pumps through your veins,

underneath your flesh,

desires the pleasures of this world.



So you continue

Continue to feed your desires until, soon,

you stop feeling.

Stop feeling the rush of that same blood that pumped once before

to convict you of the wrong,

no longer pumps in silence.

For it is no longer afraid of the wrong,

it now accepts it.



Now begins the numbness of your soul.



Where do we find feeling?

How do we begin to feel once more?



In scripture?



As I am in the presence of my Heavenly Father,

It is in that very moment

That he raises my body from the cemetery

where it lays.



I am resurrected once more.



My heart is racing

and my blood is pumping,

but only to the beat of my own sorrow.

For I know that in my death I crucify my Father,

yet again.



But it is in His forgiveness and mercy

that reassures me He is King.

So I shall not be a shamed any longer

for the Father has said to me,

"You are my Beloved daughter,

and in you I am well pleased."


He delights in us,

not in our sin,

just in us...as we are.

We shall not be ashamed

it is in God's son that we have been redeemed

He has already paid the price for our vanity and sins.


So now we are called with the mandate to enjoy life

in love, in grace, and in our Heavenly Father.